So I’ve been invited to write a blog for the men of Fuckbook on the subject of “Sex Tips for Men”; and I have been thinking about it feeling slightly intimidated by the topic. After all, what pleases one woman isn’t necessarily going to please another; we are all so varied in our preferences. When I think about what turns me on physically (and for me, it’s all about the clitoris) I recognize that plenty of women would possibly list many other things before that… so are there things that we as women, are united on? Is there possibly a universal sex language of women?

Straight up the very first thing that strongly comes to my mind is… our mind. Now before you groan and think to yourself “That’s not a sex tip”, let me warn you that without getting into her head you’re probably not going to get into her pants. It’s just the way we work. We are emotive creatures and foreplay starts outside the bedroom. It’s in the eye contact you give her, dare I say it the flowers you buy her, the quick cuddle at the kitchen sink, the endearing words you whisper to her.

Get Into Her Mind

So my first tip, Get into her mind. How? Treat her like there is no body but her. Affirm and praise her (the confidence she receives will repay you later in the bedroom). Work out what she craves sexually, too many couples don’t talk about their fantasies, likes and dislikes openly. Ask her. Discuss what excites you both. The conversation alone is sure to heat you both up and put you in the mood.

Sex Toys

Be open minded to exploring new things. Toys can be a great turn on for women and many men miss out by believing they are the only thing a women needs in the bedroom. The use of new toys and sex aids can spice up a sex life, and there is such a huge variety of toys available there is sure one (or two) to excite and suit each couple. I can remember the first time I entered a sex shop with my partner I was nervous and grabbed a few items without really looking around. Online shopping has revolutionized sex toy shopping because you can do it together from the laptop in the comfort of your bed, with no personal embarrassment and open discussion about which toys take your fancy.

The Clit

Sex tip number three, go easy on the clit… “Direct stimulation of the clit can actually be painful,” says Cathy Winks author of The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-Spot. “Its much better to rub the hood or to rub along the side of the button than it is to go straight for the head of it.” Keep in mind most women experience clit orgasms more so than G-spot or vaginal orgasms and many may require some sort of clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. My personal favourite position “Cowgirl” is not just because I love to have the opportunity to dominate my partner and see how well I can turn him on; but also because while riding him I can stimulate my clit either from grinding it against his pelvic bone while rocking myself against him or slapping it against his body while getting a good deep bounce going; but unless she is in control of her own clit stimulation watch her face for what gives pleasure and what brings pain.

Lubricants

If your girl becomes dry during sex….sorry but you’re probably doing something wrong. Once she is dry sex is no longer going to be pleasurable (it’s like teeth during a blow job) and it’s important to stop and add something to alleviate it; spit, lube, whatever works for the two of you; but perhaps it’s also time to try something different to get her juices flowing again.

Fuck Me Like a Whore

While I touched on the fact us women like to be treated like princesses outside of the bedroom earlier, in the bedroom quite the opposite is true; fuck me like a whore. Now let me clarify that I don’t necessarily mean lay me on my back and pound me til I’m red (although sometimes the situation calls for this), I’m talking about your attitude and how you approach sex with her. We want to feel your primal desires come out; it’s sexy to us when we see in your eyes how badly you want and are pleased by our bodies. We aren’t going to be turned on if it seems you are just going through the motions. I think this is why sex seems to decrease in many marriages; it becomes routine and an exercise to get over with. Remember those early days when you had built up sexual tension that exploded in the bedroom because you wanted that fuck so badly. That’s what Im talking about.

Chemistry

To conclude I really can’t give you any magically positions that will have her squirting and begging you for more; but perhaps the above tips might enable you to find out what that position is for your partner. Sometimes in all honesty it boils down to chemistry… with some partners you have it and some you don’t. When you find that partner that you ‘click’ with enjoy her, for she is precious and that moment will one day be a fucking good memory.